Last week, while Mike and I were tackling some errands around Sonoma, I turned to him and casually promised that with this upcoming move, I’d have more time and he could count on seeing more dinners on the table. I'm a happy and helpful wife but not always the most enthusiastic and reliable cook. I meant it.
With a big move, a new relationship, or a promising job change comes so much hope, and I was feeling its full effects with this move.
All of this hope paired with new beginnings got me thinking a lot the last few days. I've been taking note of the aspects I'm happy with in myself and aspects I still want to improve. Cooking is one of them. Not because I like to cook necessarily, but I greatly admire that woman that shows up to a dinner party with a basket full of freshly baked apricot muffins, tucked under a vintage floral cloth napkin, apricots picked from her fruit tree of course. But so far I'm the woman sitting in my car outside the friend's house before I walk into the dinner party, trying to neatly peel off the Whole Foods price tag from the store bought pie.
My new friend Laura has been a great listener of late and she sent me this sweet reminder, "Be kind to yourself in this transition." So that's what I'm doing. Yes, I'm the one that wants to cook dinners and tend a garden and make muffins, but I can feel that I'm placing all this new hope into some magical wand that supposedly came with this recent move. The grace I've decided to give myself is that this hope for the new and improved Megan might be for another day. It might be my 50 year old self that does that in the future, not my 40 something self who is currently trying to navigate a big move, a tiny cabin and lots of mid-life changes.
So a couple days ago, Mike and I were once again tootling around town up here in Arnold and he turned to me and said, "What do you want to do for dinner tonight?"
My mind instantly went to my past promise of making more dinners which I had yet to fulfill even just one. So I replied in my best possible sheepish way, "Well I can make up some more broken promises."
We had a good laugh, and I finished his make-believe thought, "Yea but I've already had that the last few nights."
Do you have some new hopes in your life? Are you struggling with who you are vs who you want to be? What is one thing you could start making strides toward; even if baby steps?
Give me a reply. Let's do this together!